My Journey

Wow, it's been a REALLY long time. 

I can explain. 

I have been in drug rehab for the past two months. 

What a journey this past year has been. 

In AA, they always say "secrets keep you sick". I fully agree. I have struggled to battle a prescription drug addiction on and off since I was 16 years old. 

I have a story to tell. 

It's coming. Life in the Sexy Lane will now be a little bit different over the next few posts as I share the secrets, struggles, and triumphs. 

I love you guys. Thanks for all of the support. 

Shoe Crisis

Does anyone else have a "shoe crisis" every morning? This is getting ridiculous. 

In other news....

I just finished up 3 timed tests and a second interview for a job I am hoping to get. It will be a pretty big career shift if I get it and I am SUPER stoked on the possibility. I will let you know what it is if I get it. I won't know for about a week. So basically I won't be able to sleep for about a week. Awesome. 

I met with a pain specialist tonight and it was rad. He prescribed me pain patches and pain management shots I can give myself for more effective pain management of my neck and back. Please bless this is a solution to this dumb dumb duuuuumb problem of mine.

I have taken a lot of time lately to focus on myself and my weaknesses. It has been amazing. I am pretty stoked on future possibilities at the moment. 

WEEKEND is coming. Hallelujah. I'm exhausted. 

A World of Pain

I have always believed that trials should be viewed as opportunities to discover our greatest weaknesses and learn from our struggles and make our weaknesses strong. 

This past little while I feel like I have been drowned in the fountain of humility. And I still have a ways to swim. 

Living a life with chronic pain (pain in my back, neck, and head) has been a struggle. It's been hard to even wake up some days. The past couple days, I swear it has literally taken three hours of talking to myself before I will get up and face the day. I'm not a depressed person. I hate feeling sad or being down. But day after day of feeling intense pain that I don't think will ever go away has been tough. It's tough knowing I will never accomplish some of the goals I have set for myself aka run the Boston Marathon. 

BUT, there's Silver lining in everything. It's the little things in my journey that I find myself being grateful for: 

I can now turn my head to see in my blind spot. 

I have been able to run up to 6 miles pain free.

I have the opportunity to cross train on the bike and weights. 

I have been able to give my body a much needed break. 

I have developed SO much empathy for those who live in much more pain than I do. 

Nope, I never though in a million years I would experience this. I believe 100% that I can overcome this and I will be able to live a full life and manage my pain. I haven't found the answer yet, which is extremely frustrating, but I won't stop trying. 

Enough bummer talk. Here's some recent pics on my phone:

This would be me feeling crappy one weekend. It's rare to find me up and moving on weekends. Usually I am flat on my back. PS- I am kind of obsessed with hoodies. 

Carmel Apple Suckers = My favorite candy of all time. I got a years supply. STOKED. 

I don't know how I lived so long without trail running at least 3 days a week. BEST THING EVER. 

Halloween with kids is the BEST!

Hard core sugar crash

I know I shouldn't, but shopping therapy has been a little bit out of control lately. Jackets are my addiction. 

Muddy trails don't stop me, they motivate me. 

Shopping for this jacket was my sole motivation to get out of bed (off my couch) today. I took a 30 day personal leave from work, so today it was especially hard to be motivated. This splurge did the trick. 

So stoked for November. 15 Days until Snowbird opens. Holla!

Trail Runnin

Can we just talk about how stoked I am that I got cleared to run during the fall, so that I get to run on all of the pretty trails in the SLC county canyons? 

This week marked 8 years since my brother-in-law Byron died. All I wanted to do was go for a trail run for the anniversary and just reflect on all of the great memories I have of him. It was perfect. 

I am running Las Vegas Ragnar in a couple of weeks, wish me luck. 

I got my second epidural injection in my neck this week. Please bless it works. 

Can we also just take a minute and be excited about how close my house is to being done?

Before my heater got fixed, I would go on my balcony to warm up. I didn't mind one bit. 

It's so weird seeing my parents couches in my house. I can't get enough of them. Comfiest couches ever. 

Clean floors = happy Kelli

Home Sweet Home

And...a million pictures of my awesome trail runs lately. 

PS- I'm pretty stoked about the upcoming snow season. I decided not to be as big of a workaholic this winter and get a snowbird pass!

Running two miles up a ski slope = painful

Eight years closer to heaven. Pretty rad. 

Gettin Closer

My house is finally starting to look more like a house! Side note- before you move into a house in October, you should probably check to see if the furnace is working! I have been FREEZING in here the past couple of weeks. HOPEFULLY I won't be in the middle of some work crisis and be able to slip away from work to let the guy in to fix it tomorrow. 

Here's some pictures of the current progress: 

A toe was sacrificed in order to get this sucker from my room at my parents to my room here. I am so glad I don't have a husband, because I have filled the entire dresser and my closet with my stuff. I would have no room for a husband...unless he wore the same thing every day!

My parents gave me their couches. They look great!

I FINALLY got a bedspread. The 50 degrees inside my house DURING THE DAY was the motivation for this. 

Cute little wall decoration 

Love my little Target rug. 

And Target coat hanger

I hung these all by myself. Thank you iphone Level app. 

Finally looking like a house again after 6 weeks of hard work!

Be Tough, Be Strong

My whole life I thought that I had it all figured out. I thought that the way to make it through life was to be tough and be strong. Well those qualities came naturally to me.

For Example: 

On mile 20 of a marathon, I felt my tibia snap. I toughed it out the next six miles to run a time just seven minutes off of a Boston qualifying time. 

I swim in the shark tank that is the business of mortgage lending. And I'm good at it.

Right after a girl headed my face and completely broke my nose, I told my coach just to put a band aid on it and let me keep playing. 

I began college soccer just one week after getting my gal bladder out. 

I ran college cross country with mono. 

Those are just a few examples I can come up with off the top of my head that illustrates my strength and tenacity. But, perhaps those aren't the secrets to success in life. Sure, those qualities have made me successful with certain physical challenges and in my career. They are great qualities. 

But I believe true strength is called humility. 

Being humble enough to share weaknesses. 

Being humble enough to let people know that I might not have it all figured out. 

Being humble enough to ask for help, because I can't do something on my own. 

Being humble enough to say "I don't know" when asked a question. 

When I think of those examples of humility, they scare me a lot more than my examples of strength. I live in a world where being tough and strong represents success temporally. But that doesn't mean they represent happiness eternally.

Can you tell I'm running again and my moving meditation has the deep thoughts flowing again?

Life in the Sexy Lane

First of all, thank you all for the texts, emails, phone calls, comments, etc. I appreciate the love and support more than you will ever know. 

Now onto the positive, happy moments of my life lately according to my iphone...

The majority of the painting is done, all thanks to this little helper who now wants to paint every time she comes over. 

I love love looooove the new floors 

Cordially invited to attend a singles ward. Utah never ceases to amaze me. 

I took the day off to get some stuff done on my house, and this little helper was by my side all day helping out!

Car all packed up ready to move for the last time for a really long time. Yesssss. 

Carpet!

 Before and After of the Master Bedroom

I had to teach a homeownership workshop up at USU. This drive in the fall is AMAZING. 

New homeowner = becoming a home maker? You wouldn't believe how many family members were shocked I actually made a craft. Okay, Rylie did most of it. 

The meltdown this kid had the day I moved out was seriously a heart breaker. 

Life of a bachelorette. PS- Whole Foods is going to turn me broke.

 Before and After of my Family Room

See all of these files? They are now all closed out and off of my desk. Hallelujah. 

Buying the "finishing touches" is waaaaay more fun than all of the nitty gritty work of remodeling. 

Buying a house at the same time my parents are getting rid of all of their furniture is pure brilliance. 

Sometimes I actually get ready for work. SOMETIMES- key word. 

Date Night! You can imagine my proud response when she asked if she could take her soccer ball along. 

Take a kid to the pet store- they are entertained for at least an hour.

We went to look at kitchen tables and lamps. We walked away with a candy dispenser. She is the worst shopping consultant ever!

I'm gonna be really sad when she grows out of this stage. It's my favorite. 

Key to success with my boss- ALWAYS stock the candy drawer. This saved me from a major stress meltdown today.

I was driving home after work and drove past Mt. Olympus trail. I decided to get out and run it. ALWAYS keep a spare pair of running shoes and shorts in your car. It was sooooo pretty. 

One more day down = success.