Those are some pretty tough questions to face.
The good news is, I spoke with a professor today about my upcoming interviews that I am scared out of my mind for. We went through a few things and I just became even more overwhelmed. I am not cut out for this growing up stuff. But she said, "If any one in this major can pull this off...it's definitely you." So that was strangely comforting...but still didn't make me feel like I was ready to take on the world at the ripe age of 22.
All of this stuff mostly just makes me feel more and more alone. My future is entirely up to me. That can be slightly unnerving. I can decide how I want my life to be, and nobody else can decide for me. Empowering? Scary? Or both?
So, you might ask, how does someone handle this stress?
A LOT of alone time. This week has made me realize how independent I actually am.
Of course, I have gone running EXCESSIVELY. There is something about blasting your music and running as fast as you can that makes the stress just fall off onto the pavement. I even signed up for the Halloween Half Marathon in 2 weeks to give me an excuse to excessively run. I can just say that I am "training". Gets em every time.
I also drive around and listen to music. Lyrics are powerful. Music makes you gain different perspectives and insight. I love it. I love that there is so much of it. There are always new lyrics that are waiting to speak to me. There are different sounds for different days. I am very much a "seasonal" music person. I listen to different types of music in different seasons. I have to say...even though I HATE winter, I LOVE winter music. Ironic isn't it?
Weirdest stress reliever lately? Foxnews. I don't know what it is...maybe I feel more empowered by being more informed? Maybe it makes me realize how much I actually DO understand and the fact that I am much more educated than the average American? I am not quite sure why, but I love watching it. I love staying "in the know" and learning new things ever day about the world around me.
Tonight's stress reliever was a new one for me, but it was FABULOUS. I have always wanted to go to the movies alone. I don't know why, but I always have. Escaping the world and watching someone's world all.by.yourself. I think this might be a regular form of therapy for me. It was so relaxing and such a great way to spend time alone. Yes, by now you should know that I am pretty much a huge loner and way too independent for any guy in this world.
Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be much appreciated this week.
Good choice with The Format. I don't know if you've listened to their B-sides and Rarities album, but it's way good. It's perfect driving alone music
ReplyDeleteSo I am just now getting caught up on your blog (as you can tell from the comments). You are pretty much AMAZING!! I am so proud of you. I think you are doing incredible things with your life. Keep running. And praying. And reading your scriptures. That combination in any order helped me SO much when I was in your situation. I know you'll make the right choices and it will all work out because like I said above, YOU ARE PRETTY MUCH AMAZING!!
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